Addiction recovery is a long and involved process for all concerned, not just the addict. But whether you are the addict in recovery, or the family members-there’s no point in continually focusing on the bad memories. That just clouds the situation and makes healing for everyone that much harder. When you pile up every memory of things that went wrong, how you were hurt, how you hurt others and what you lost. It’s a little like adding too much weight to the grocery cart. At some point, it will break – unable to carry the burden. Bad memories are like that – they’re just too much weight to bear.
The fact that you allow them to accumulate means they aren’t being dealt with. They’re going to remain in your consciousness or the back of your mind, if you’ve already shoved them out of your immediate thoughts. Until you do, they will create even more problems than you want or need. Plagued by worry and insecurity, you will constantly run negative scenarios through your mind. The result of all this emotional turmoil can be devastating. Suddenly, you find you don’t trust anyone, not the addict, or yourself. One of the most painful bricks we throw at ourselves is the negative thought that we are just not good enough. Again, it’s irrelevant whether you are the addict or the loved one who has such thoughts. We all do and say anything to make ourselves feel more worthy in the eyes of the world. But through these times, it will feel like whatever you try doesn’t seem good enough. Somehow, all you do is fail and you’ll constantly beat yourself up. All this self-directed negative energy will have other consequences as well. You’ll find yourself unable to move on when you’re consumed with the train-wreck that’s your thoughts.
It doesn’t matter what type of addiction is present, whether it’s alcohol, heroin or prescription drugs – once your emotional roller-coaster gets moving, it’s hard to stop. Let me be frank in saying that if you continue at this rate, you’ll eventually fly off the rails.
But with that said, is it really possible to set aside all your negative thoughts through these tough times? Can you really reverse the downward spiral that’s been the consequence of your past? You definitely can. Don’t attempt to go at it alone though, I mean, why should you? There are others out there who have been in your shoes and are ready and eager to help. Let them. Look forward to your future – free of the blast from the past.